9 ways to build confidence

9 Confidence Building Techniques That Will Help You Ace Anything!

By on July 2, 2012


How-To-Build-ConfidenceHaving a high level of confidence can do wonders in every aspect of your life from your physical appearance to your sleeping patterns. It is proven that people with a lot of confidence are more successful, healthy, and enjoy a more fulfilling life.

Below are our ’9 confidence building techniques that will help you ace anything’.



1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

comparing yourself to othersOne of the most effective self-confidence building techniques that will immediately improve your confidence is to stop comparing yourself to others. This is trouble and in reality, you only see a small slice of how that person really is. Everyone, thinks, feels, learns and sees things differently. You are the only person on this planet with your ability, it may not be some sort of super-human power you posses but the possibilities in you and the way you do things will be endless and different to everybody else, no two fingerprints are the same. Remember that!

When you compare yourself to other people you tend to compare yourself to the one person who you believe has it best in life. This is definitely not a good way to assess yourself. Instead worry about what it takes to be someone that you like yourself. You would be shocked at how much happier people who like themselves are than people who do not.


2. Always Make Eye Contact

Most people are incredibly afraid of how other people will judge them in a multitude of different situations. By making eye contact you tell yourself that you are worthy, unafraid, and confident. You also send the same message to the other person/people that you are talking to.

A little trick I find that works is to look between their eyebrows in the center of their head, this is less intimidating for you as you are not looking directly into their eyes but from where they are standing it looks like you actually are. Just make sure you are not staring to hard, and are not too up close and personal like the picture we have featured to the left, this may intimidate the person you are conversing with and this defeats the purpose of lowering room for judgement.

At first many people have to force themselves to make eye contact for quite some time before it becomes a habit. However, you will find that once you get into a habit of making good eye contact you will naturally feel more confident in all situations and scenarios.


3. Exercise & Healthy Eating

Exercise-&-Eat-HealthyAppearance is the number one cause for low self-esteem around the world. Improving your physical appearance can do wonders for your confidence. Exercising often is the best way to make yourself both feel better and look better.

Exercise of any kind will release endorphins which are chemicals released by the brain during exercise that enhances that feel good mood and sends a pleasurable feeling through your body. Exercising on a regular basis will improve anyone’s physical appearance and subsequently their self-confidence. You feel good, you smile more. You smile more you feel more confident, there’s a pattern here isn’t there?

Do know, that 70% of weight loss starts with your dieting, so find a diet that works for you and implement an exercise routine that you are happy with. Just make sure it is a routine you enjoy otherwise your fitness regime will be short lived and you will see little to no improvement.


4. Dress Sharp

Dress Sharp - Self ConfidenceHave you ever heard the saying “when you look good, you feel good”? There is a lot of truth to that old saying. When you dress sharp it has a positive physiological effect resulting in improved interactions with other people. You will also feel changes in the way that you carry yourself, which enhances your level of comfort in every day situations.

Dressing sharp is an easy and immediate way to increase your confidence. This has been studied and proven to be very effective in immediately increasing confidence levels.


5. Compliment Others Often

complimentGet in the mindset of thinking positive. This will allow you to see the good in people and compliment them on their strong points. So how is this going to help boost your self-esteem? Well, when you compliment others you are ten times more likely to get a sincere compliment in return. This will reinforce your strong points and push your positive characteristics to the fore front of your self assurance. Go easy on the compliments though, you don’t want to come across as a groupie.


6. Help Those Less Fortunate

While this may seem counter productive to your happiness, helping those less fortunate is one of the most empowering feelings in the world. Those who do community service often have incredibly high self esteems, self confidence, and a great outlook on life.

The empowering feeling of helping others builds self confidence in yourself and helps you to realise that you are abe to make an impact in this world.

Tony Robbins said it best – ”The secret of living is giving.”


7. Face Your Fears & Don’t Fear Failure

This a huge reason for low level of confidence in millions of people. Our fears have incredible control over us and affect the way we feel about ourselves. When we fear something we feel weak which is the same as not feeling confident. In order to overcome this you have to face your fears in life. Do not avoid the things that you are incredibly afraid of. The better way to go about it is to face your fears and get to understand what you fear instead of running from it.

Learn to never fear failure. Everyone in life fails numerous times. A couple of failures will not define your life. The way you respond to these failures is what defines you.


8. Carry ‘Confidence’ With You

Increase ConfidenceCarry it with you, just not on your shoulders. Now what I mean by this is you should not look like you are trying to be confident and stressing about how you come across.

There are a number of ways that you can exude confidence physically and here are a handful we have to share with you:



– Speak clearly and with a reasonable volume

– Be conscious of your posture

– Don’t cross your arms as this shows insecurity

– Use your hands to explain things, this helps to draw your crowd a vivid picture of your explanations


9. Fake It, Til You Make It

Fake-It-Til-You-Make-ItWe have all heard this term used before but it is very applicable when it comes to self-confidence.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel vulnerable and not very confident, this is the time to switch on your fake it to make it mind set. Use the characteristics of confident people and apply them to your immediate situation. Look for a role model in the moment, someone you look at as a confident and charismatic person, whether it be a character, a movie star or someone that you have felt comfortable around before.

These will become habits of your own within time and will definitely pay off.

Motivation part 3

9. Recognize achievement – Make a point to recognize achievements one-on-one and also in group settings. People like to see that their work isn’t being ignored.

10. Personal stake – Think about the personal stake of others. What do they need? By understanding this you’ll be able to keep people happy and productive.

11. Concentrate on outcomes – No one likes to work with someone standing over their shoulder. Focus on outcomes — make it clear what you want and cut people loose to get it done on their own.

12 Trust and Respect – Give people the trust and respect they deserve and they’ll respond to requests much more favorably.

13. Create challenges – People are happy when they’re progressing towards a goal. Give them the opportunity to face new and difficult problems and they’ll be more enthusiastic.

14. Let people be creative – Don’t expect everyone to do things your way. Allowing people to be creative creates a more optimistic environment and can lead to awesome new ideas. 16. Constructive criticism – Often people don’t realize what they’re doing wrong. Let them know. Most people want to improve and will make an effort once they know how to do it.


If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results. Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives.

1. Consequences – Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?

2. Pleasure – This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.

3. Performance incentives – Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.

4. Detailed instructions – If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.

Getting back on track

I haven’t been in the blogosphere for a while and have been having a crisis, A: how have I got to here? and  B:where do I go to get me back on track? I still do not know how or when I got off track but these simple (for want of a better word) “rules” are starting to get me back.

My career doesn’t seem to be going the way I imagined and it hasn’t been for a while. I do still have a job which is better than a lot of people and I am thankful for that. But I still cannot help being a bit lost.

So here goes

If you’re off track, out of sorts, alienated, or just plain stuck, know that peace is possible. Apply these lifelines, then celebrate your arrival home to clear seeing, to sanity, to the fullness of being alive.

Accept things as they are.

As much as you want to change things to relieve your discomfort, what will help is just the opposite. Instead of trying to make your feelings go away, allow them to be. Stop resisting, and simply feel whatever you feel, even if it is painful or uncomfortable.

The end of trying to make something happen is the beginning of peace.

Be respectful, not harsh.

Rejecting or ignoring your experience is a kind of violence. It’s like slamming the door in the face of a new friend. When you push away feelings, you are divided against yourself. This is the cause of confusion and disconnection.

Instead of wishing for a different reality than what you are actually experiencing, meet yourself as is with an open heart. Lean into the difficult energies and emotions.

I know it can be challenging, and you are likely to resist. But take the plunge anyway. Breathe into the hardest places. Your loving attention is what will make them soften.

Let go of goals and plans.

When you have lost your way, goals and plans can take you deeper into darkness and frustration. Plans come from the mind, and letting them go brings you closer to being in touch with what is really true for you.

Set aside some unstructured time for being rather than doing. Ignore the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind and the pressure to accomplish. The trajectory of your plans and goals can wait. What you need is to stop and be quiet.

Keep it simple.

When confusion is in charge, keep it simple. Let the should’s and demands fall by the wayside, and don’t try to figure it all out. Simply bring your attention to your inner core. Listen with an open mind and see what you are guided to do.

Abandon expectations so you can hear clearly, as you may be surprised by what is offered.


Relax away from the agitation, the uncomfortable feelings, the mental noise. It will all run its course without you feeding it with criticism or panic. If you investigate your inner workings with precision, you will see that when you relax with what is, when you let all the drama go, there is peace.

Let yourself relax. Be patient and kind. Move with rather than against. And here is what will happen. What seems like a problem becomes an opportunity. Resistance turns into inner transformation. Over and over, your struggles will guide you back to yourself, your essence, your true home.

What do you do to get back on track when you are lost? I’d love to hear…