We all need to take a break sometimes. sometimes our body tells us to take a break by getting sick. We don’t want the latter to happen so here’s a few tips to help us relax, chill out and deal with some of the tests that are put before us from time to time.
- Slow down and breathe. Notice what you feel in your body. Breathe into tight or tense spots with a sense of warmth and loving kindness toward yourself.
- Practice sitting meditation, and learn to let go of your thoughts. Here’s one way to do that: Sit in a comfortable, upright position. Notice the cool breath as you inhale, and the warm breath as you exhale. When thoughts intrude, simply label it “thinking” and come back to your breath. As you continue to practice, even five minutes a day, you will realize that your thoughts have no substance.
- Give your negative voice its own identity. For example, as I continued to meditate, I was able to separate that negative voice that criticized me and put me down. I even gave it a name, “Bertha” and a different voice than my true voice. When Bertha reared her ugly head, I would say “Oh, Bertha, you are just a thought that I don’t need” and I was able to let those thoughts go.
- Cultivate friendships, and develop compassion for others. When we are depressed, we tend to have tunnel vision and are self-centred. Giving to others will bring you joy.
- Get out in nature. Walk. Become mindful of the pleasant feelings you get from hearing the sound of birds, feeling the sun and breeze, seeing the blue sky and beautiful landscape. Let those feelings embrace you. Tell yourself, “I deserve this.”
- When difficult situations arise, find others you can share your feelings with. Life is full of struggles, but those struggles do not have to define you. Write about your feelings in a diary and don’t isolate yourself.
Hope you like these. Try them and perfect them.
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Now go make YOUR mark
9 Confidence Building Techniques That Will Help You Ace Anything!
Below are our ’9 confidence building techniques that will help you ace anything’.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
One of the most effective self-confidence building techniques that will immediately improve your confidence is to stop comparing yourself to others. This is trouble and in reality, you only see a small slice of how that person really is. Everyone, thinks, feels, learns and sees things differently. You are the only person on this planet with your ability, it may not be some sort of super-human power you posses but the possibilities in you and the way you do things will be endless and different to everybody else, no two fingerprints are the same. Remember that!
When you compare yourself to other people you tend to compare yourself to the one person who you believe has it best in life. This is definitely not a good way to assess yourself. Instead worry about what it takes to be someone that you like yourself. You would be shocked at how much happier people who like themselves are than people who do not.
2. Always Make Eye Contact
Most people are incredibly afraid of how other people will judge them in a multitude of different situations. By making eye contact you tell yourself that you are worthy, unafraid, and confident. You also send the same message to the other person/people that you are talking to.
A little trick I find that works is to look between their eyebrows in the center of their head, this is less intimidating for you as you are not looking directly into their eyes but from where they are standing it looks like you actually are. Just make sure you are not staring to hard, and are not too up close and personal like the picture we have featured to the left, this may intimidate the person you are conversing with and this defeats the purpose of lowering room for judgement.
At first many people have to force themselves to make eye contact for quite some time before it becomes a habit. However, you will find that once you get into a habit of making good eye contact you will naturally feel more confident in all situations and scenarios.
3. Exercise & Healthy Eating
Appearance is the number one cause for low self-esteem around the world. Improving your physical appearance can do wonders for your confidence. Exercising often is the best way to make yourself both feel better and look better.
Exercise of any kind will release endorphins which are chemicals released by the brain during exercise that enhances that feel good mood and sends a pleasurable feeling through your body. Exercising on a regular basis will improve anyone’s physical appearance and subsequently their self-confidence. You feel good, you smile more. You smile more you feel more confident, there’s a pattern here isn’t there?
Do know, that 70% of weight loss starts with your dieting, so find a diet that works for you and implement an exercise routine that you are happy with. Just make sure it is a routine you enjoy otherwise your fitness regime will be short lived and you will see little to no improvement.
4. Dress Sharp
Have you ever heard the saying “when you look good, you feel good”? There is a lot of truth to that old saying. When you dress sharp it has a positive physiological effect resulting in improved interactions with other people. You will also feel changes in the way that you carry yourself, which enhances your level of comfort in every day situations.
Dressing sharp is an easy and immediate way to increase your confidence. This has been studied and proven to be very effective in immediately increasing confidence levels.
5. Compliment Others Often
Get in the mindset of thinking positive. This will allow you to see the good in people and compliment them on their strong points. So how is this going to help boost your self-esteem? Well, when you compliment others you are ten times more likely to get a sincere compliment in return. This will reinforce your strong points and push your positive characteristics to the fore front of your self assurance. Go easy on the compliments though, you don’t want to come across as a groupie.
6. Help Those Less Fortunate
While this may seem counter productive to your happiness, helping those less fortunate is one of the most empowering feelings in the world. Those who do community service often have incredibly high self esteems, self confidence, and a great outlook on life.
The empowering feeling of helping others builds self confidence in yourself and helps you to realise that you are abe to make an impact in this world.
Tony Robbins said it best – ”The secret of living is giving.”
7. Face Your Fears & Don’t Fear Failure
This a huge reason for low level of confidence in millions of people. Our fears have incredible control over us and affect the way we feel about ourselves. When we fear something we feel weak which is the same as not feeling confident. In order to overcome this you have to face your fears in life. Do not avoid the things that you are incredibly afraid of. The better way to go about it is to face your fears and get to understand what you fear instead of running from it.
Learn to never fear failure. Everyone in life fails numerous times. A couple of failures will not define your life. The way you respond to these failures is what defines you.
8. Carry ‘Confidence’ With You
Carry it with you, just not on your shoulders. Now what I mean by this is you should not look like you are trying to be confident and stressing about how you come across.
There are a number of ways that you can exude confidence physically and here are a handful we have to share with you:
– Speak clearly and with a reasonable volume
– Be conscious of your posture
– Don’t cross your arms as this shows insecurity
– Use your hands to explain things, this helps to draw your crowd a vivid picture of your explanations
9. Fake It, Til You Make It
We have all heard this term used before but it is very applicable when it comes to self-confidence.
If you find yourself in a situation where you feel vulnerable and not very confident, this is the time to switch on your fake it to make it mind set. Use the characteristics of confident people and apply them to your immediate situation. Look for a role model in the moment, someone you look at as a confident and charismatic person, whether it be a character, a movie star or someone that you have felt comfortable around before.
These will become habits of your own within time and will definitely pay off.
If you want to make things happen the ability to motivate yourself and others is a crucial skill. At work, home, and everywhere in between, people use motivation to get results. Motivation requires a delicate balance of communication, structure, and incentives.
1. Consequences – Never use threats. They’ll turn people against you. But making people aware of the negative consequences of not getting results (for everyone involved) can have a big impact. This one is also big for self motivation. If you don’t get your act together, will you ever get what you want?
2. Pleasure – This is the old carrot on a stick technique. Providing pleasurable rewards creates eager and productive people.
3. Performance incentives – Appeal to people’s selfish nature. Give them the opportunity to earn more for themselves by earning more for you.
4. Detailed instructions – If you want a specific result, give specific instructions. People work better when they know exactly what’s expected.
If you ask most people what is their one major objective in life, they would probably give you a vague answer, such as, “I want to be successful, be happy, make a good living,” and that is it. They are all wishes and none of them are clear goals.
Goals must be SMART:
1. S–specific. For example, “I want to lose weight.” This is wishful thinking. It becomes a goal when I pin myself down to “I will lose 1 stone in 90 days.”
2. M–must be measurable. If we cannot measure it, we cannot accomplish it. Measurement is a way of monitoring our progress.
3. A–must be achievable. Achievable means that it should be out of reach enough to be challenging but it should not be out of sight, otherwise it becomes disheartening.
4. R–realistic. A person who wants to lose 5 stone in~30 days is being unrealistic.
5. T–time-framed. There should be a starting date and a finishing date.
Please comment your opinion on this and add something of yours…
Of all the different ways to improve your physical and mental health, exercise is one of the easiest and safest methods. It is also one of the most effective. Even a little regular exercise can help ease depression, boost energy, mood, and relieve stress. But you don’t have to be a fitness fanatic to reap the benefits. No matter your age, health limitations, or fitness levels, there are enjoyable ways to use physical activity to feel better every day.
The Life Changing Benifits of Exercise
Exercise is not just about aerobic capacity and muscle size. Sure, exercise improves your health and your physique, but it has even greater benefits for your energy, mood, and brainpower. A study in the ACSM Journal of Health & Fitness asked long-term exercisers (those who had been regularly exercising for an average of 13 years) what motivated them to continue exercising. Rather than being motivated by building muscle or flattening their stomachs, for example, most exercisers cited the feelings of well-being they derived from exercise, along with increased pep and energy, and how exercise helped them sleep better and made them more relaxed.
Despite all the life-changing benefits, many of us still think of exercise as a chore, either something that we don’t have time for, or something that’s only suitable for the young or the athletic.
There are many commonly-held myths about exercise that make it seem more arduous and painful than it has to be. Overcoming obstacles to exercise starts with separating fact from fiction.
Why we don’t exercise
“I don’t have enough time to exercise.” Even short low-impact intervals of exercise can act as a powerful tool to supercharge your health. If you have time for a 15-minute walk with the dog, your body will thank you in many ways.
“Exercise is too difficult and painful.” Consider “no pain, no gain” the old fashioned way of thinking about exercise. Exercise doesn’t have to hurt to be incredibly effective. You don’t have to push yourself to the limit to get results. You can build your strength and fitness by walking, swimming, even playing golf or cleaning the house.
“I’m too tired to exercise.” Regular exercise is a powerful pick-me-up that can significantly reduce fatigue and make you feel much more energetic. If you’re feeling tired, try taking a brisk walk or dancing to your favorite music and see how much better you feel afterwards.
“I’m too old to start exercising,” “I’m too fat,” or “My health isn’t good enough.” It’s never too late to start building your strength and physical fitness, even if you’re a senior or a self-confessed couch potato who has never exercised before. And exercise is a proven treatment for many diseases—from diabetes to arthritis. Very few health or weight problems make exercise out of the question, so talk to your doctor about a safe routine for you.
“I’m not athletic.” Do you hide your head when the tennis ball approaches? Are you stumped at the difference between a foul ball and a free throw? Join the ranks. Don’t worry if you’re not sporty or ultra-coordinated. Instead, find an activity like walking, jogging, or yoga that makes you feel good to be in your body.
“Exercise is boring.” Sure, pounding on a treadmill for an hour may not be everyone’s idea of a good time. But not all exercise has to be boring; just about everyone can find a physical activity they enjoy. Try playing ping-pong (table tennis) or activity-based video games with your kids. So-called “exergames” that are played standing up and moving around—simulating dancing, skateboarding, soccer, or tennis, for example—can burn at least as many calories as walking on a treadmill; some substantially more. Once you build up your confidence, try getting away from the TV screen and playing the real thing outside.
To reap the benefits of exercise, you don’t need to devote hours out your busy day, train at the gym, sweat buckets, or run mile after monotonous mile. You can reap all the physical and mental health benefits of exercise with 30-minutes of moderate exercise five times a week. Two 15-minute exercise sessions can also work just as well.
If that still seems intimidating, don’t despair. Even just a few minutes of physical activity are better than none at all. If you don’t have time for 15 or 30 minutes of exercise, or if your body tells you to take a break after 5 or 10 minutes, for example, that’s okay, too. Start with 5- or 10-minute sessions and slowly increase your time. The more you exercise, the more energy you’ll have, so eventually you’ll feel ready for a little more. The key is to commit to do some moderate physical activity—however little—on most days. As exercising becomes habit, you can slowly add extra minutes or try different types of activities. If you keep at it, the benefits of exercise will begin to pay off.
Moderate exercise means two things:
- That you breathe a little heavier than normal, but are not out of breath. For example, you should be able to chat with your walking partner, but not easily sing a song.
- That your body feels warmer as you move, but not overheated or very sweaty.
Do I need different types of exercise?
While any kind of exercise offers tremendous health benefits, different types of exercise focus more on certain aspects of your health. You can concentrate on one type of exercise or mix them up to add variety to your workouts and broaden the health benefits.
- Aerobic activitieslike running, cycling, and swimming strengthen your heart and increase your endurance.
- Strength traininglike weight lifting or resistance training builds muscle and bone mass, improves balance and prevents falls. It’s one of the best counters to frailty in old age.
- Flexibility exercises like stretching and yoga help prevent injury, enhance range of motion, reduce stiffness, and limit aches and pains.
Even if you don’t have a 15 or 30 minute window to dedicate to yoga or a bike ride, that doesn’t mean you can’t add physical activity to your day. If you’re not ready to commit to a structured exercise program, think about physical activity as a lifestyle choice rather than a single task to check off your to-do list. Look at your daily routine and consider ways to sneak in activity here and there. Even very small activities can add up over the course of a day.
- In and around your home.Clean the house, wash the car, tend to the yard and garden, mow the lawn with a push mower, sweep the sidewalk or patio with a broom.
- At work and on the go.Look for ways to walk or cycle more. For example, bike or walk to an appointment rather than drive, banish all elevators and use the stairs, briskly walk to the bus stop then get off one stop early, park at the back of the lot and walk into the store or office, take a vigorous walk during your coffee break. Walk while you’re talking on your cell phone.
- With friends or family.Walk or jog around the soccer field during your kid’s practice, make a neighborhood bike ride part of weekend routine, play tag with your children in the yard or play exercise video games. Walk the dog together as a family, or if you don’t have your own dog, volunteer to walk a dog from a shelter. Organize an office bowling team, take a class in martial arts, dance, or yoga with a friend or spouse.
- While watching TV. Gently stretch while watching your favorite show, do push-ups, sit-ups or lift light weights during the commercial breaks—you’ll be amazed at how many repetitions you can fit in during the commercials of a half hour show! Better still, once a week turn off the TV and take a walk outside instead.
When we decide to begin exercising, many of us will rush out and join a gym or buy costly exercise equipment with a vow to working out every day. We may go to the gym once or twice, use the equipment a couple of times and then quickly lose motivation. The gym membership gathers dust and the exercise equipment is confined to the back of a cupboard.
Exercise doesn’t need to be such an all or nothing commitment. If you haven’t exercised before or you’ve tried an exercise program in the past and been unable to stick with it, it’s important not to set unrealistic goals. Committing to exercise for an hour a day in a gym may be too challenging at first, whereas committing to 10 minutes just three or four times a week is more manageable. Once these short windows of activity become a habit and you start experiencing the benefits, it’s easier to progress to the next level.
If you’re stressed, whether by your job or by something more personal, the first step to feeling better is to identify the cause.
The most unhelpful thing you can do is turn to something unhealthy to help you cope, such as smoking or drinking.
“In life, there’s always a solution to a problem,” says Professor Cary Cooper, an occupational health expert at the University of Lancaster. “Not taking control of the situation and doing nothing will only make your problems worse.”
He says the keys to good stress management are building emotional strength, being in control of your situation, having a good social network and adopting a positive outlook.
These are Professor Cooper’s top stress-busting techniques:
Be active If you have a stress-related problem, physical activity can get you in the right state of mind to be able to identify the causes of your stress and find a solution. “To deal with stress effectively, you need to feel robust and you need to feel strong mentally. Exercise does that,” says Cooper.
Exercise won’t make your stress disappear, but it will reduce some of the emotional intensity that you’re feeling, clearing your thoughts and enabling you to deal with your problems more calmly.
Take control No matter how difficult your problem may appear to be, there’s always a solution. “If you remain passive, thinking, ‘I can’t do anything about my problem’, your stress will get worse,” says Professor Cooper. “That feeling of loss of control is one of the main causes of stress and lack of wellbeing.”
The act of taking control is in itself empowering, and it’s a crucial part of finding a solution that satisfies you and not someone else. Read tips about how to manage your time.
Connect with people A problem shared is a problem halved. A good support network of colleagues, friends and family can ease your work troubles and help you see things in a different way.
“If you don’t connect with people, you won’t have support to turn to when you need help,” says Professor Cooper. The activities we do with friends help us relax and we often have a good laugh with them, which is an excellent stress reliever.
“Talking things through with a friend will also help you find solutions to your problems,” says Professor Cooper.
Have some ‘me time’ The UK workforce works the longest hours in Europe. The extra hours in the workplace mean that people aren’t spending enough time doing things that they really enjoy. “We all need to take some time for socialising, relaxation or exercise,” says Professor Cooper.
He recommends setting aside a couple of nights a week for some quality ‘me time’ away from work. “By earmarking those two days, it means you won’t be tempted to work overtime on those days,” he says.
Challenge yourself Setting yourself goals and challenges, whether at work or outside, such as learning a new language or a new sport, helps to build confidence. That in turn will help you deal with stress.
“By constantly challenging yourself you’re being proactive and taking charge of your life,” says Professor Cooper. “By continuing to learn, you become more emotionally resilient as a person. It arms you with knowledge and makes you want to do things rather than be passive, such as watching TV all the time.”
Avoid unhealthy habits Don’t rely on alcohol, smoking and caffeine as your ways of coping. “Men more than women are likely to do this. We call this avoidance behaviour,” says Professor Cooper. “Women are better at seeking support from their social circle.”
Over the long term, these faulty coping mechanisms won’t solve your problems. They’ll just create new ones. “It’s like putting your head in the sand,” says Professor Cooper. “It might provide temporary relief but it won’t make the problems disappear. You need to tackle the cause of your stress.”
Work smarter, not harder Good time management means quality work rather than quantity. Our long-hours culture is a well-known cause of workplace illness. “You have to get a work-life balance that suits you,” says Professor Cooper.
Working smarter means prioritising your work, concentrating on the tasks that will make a real difference to your work. “Leave the least important tasks to last,” says Cooper. “Accept that your in-tray will always be full. Don’t expect it to be empty at the end of the day.”
Be positive Look for the positives in life, and things for which you’re grateful. Write down three things at the end of every day which went well or for which you’re grateful.
“People don’t always appreciate what they have,” says Professor Cooper. “Try to be glass half full instead of glass half empty,” he says.
This requires a shift in perspective for those who are more naturally pessimistic.
“It can be done,” he says. “By making a conscious effort you can train yourself to be more positive about life. Problems are often a question of perspective. If you change your perspective, you may see your situation from a more positive point of view.”
Accept the things you can’t change Changing a difficult situation isn’t always possible. If this proves to be the case, recognise and accept things as they are and concentrate on everything that you do have control over.
“If your company is going under and is making redundancies, there’s nothing you can do about it,” says Professor Cooper. “There’s no point fighting it. In such a situation, you need to focus on the things that you can control, such as looking for a new job.”